"Power Listening"
"The Business of Listening"

By Sandra Graham

There is an old joke that describes a conversation between a wife and her husband. After repeated attempts at communication, the frustrated woman turns to him and says, "You're not hard of hearing, you are hard of listening!"

Every one of us has experienced the crucial difference between hearing and listening. Receiving auditory sensations is hearing. The complex and more difficult procedure of interpreting and understanding what we hear is listening.

Ralph Nichols Ph.D. at the University of Minnesota says we listen to 25 percent of our potential, which means we ignore, forget, distort, and misunderstand 75 percent of everything we hear. Translate those figures into business, and suddenly our lack of active listening skills is negatively affecting our bottom line.

To actively listen, we have to disengage our own internal dialogue and commit wholeheartedly to our focus: Listening to the speaker's words, noticing the tone of voice and monitoring the speaker's body language.

Active listening means you are listening to the speaker.

When you are listening to someone:

1. Your eyes are looking at the speaker.

2. Your body is directed toward the speaker. Many good listeners lean forward to express interest.

3. You do not interrupt. You wait your turn to share thoughts.

4. You do not undermine the speaker's train of thought by changing the subject.

5. You ask questions related to the conversation.

6. You summarize what has been said so the speaker feels understood. For example, you ask, "So what you are saying is ...?"

When you are listening against someone:

1. You are thinking of what you are going to say back while the speaker is still talking.

2. You are not giving the speaker your full attention. Your eyes are wandering. Your body is turned away. You are easily distracted and look uninterested.

3. You are interrupting with your point of view, or even worse, changing the subject in order to dominate the conversation.

4. You have a blank face, rather than nodding, smiling, frowning, blinking or other silent responders that let the speaker know you are "present."

5. You do not seek to understand the speaker by asking related questions.

The No. 1 way to become an active listener is to ask questions that paraphrase the speaker. Paraphrasing ensures that you understand the content the way the speaker intended, and it signals the speaker that you are actively listening. For example:

"Tell me more ... "

"How did you feel when ... "

"If I understand you correctly ... "

"You are saying that ... "

"What was your reaction to ... "

Active listening can give you an edge in the workplace. Improved listening skills will make you more efficient in business, because you will understand others faster. You will be perceived as sharper and more supportive because of the questions you ask. You will be better able to prevent miscommunication and misunderstandings that could waste company dollars.

Understanding others quickly and efficiently will affect your business. Choose to listen, because listening affects your bottom line.

Sandra Graham is president of People & Company, a training and consulting firm in Macon.