eTip #19

On Really Listening

We all know that we shouldn’t waste listening time thinking of our responses and that we shouldn’t interrupt, but how well do we constrain our ego and try not to one-up the person we are talking to? These skills take a little more practice!

Constrain Your Ego
Our egos are probably the single biggest deterrent to effective listening. Egos want us to standup and shout, "Hey, I'm here. Listen to me!" If you find yourself speaking more than your customer, ask yourself, "Is what I'm about to say an improvement on silence?" This simple, yet powerful question can help you act as your own censor and more carefully select what you say. You'll probably stick your foot in your mouth less often since your mouth will be closed more of the time.

Avoid the "Bigger Fish Syndrome"
Conversations often turn into subtle games of "Can you top this?" I once spent a day with a top salesperson, and while we were meeting with one of his clients, the client asked him if he knew much about fishing. The salesperson said, "A little. How about you?" The client told us all about the sport of fishing and where to go to catch the big ones. When we left his office (with a new order), the salesperson told me that he is an avid fisherman! He told me, "If you want people to like you and buy what you're selling, don't steal their thunder. Do whatever you can to make them feel important." Apply this to the area of leadership and you have a great leader!

EXTRA: “Since light moves faster than sound, we may seem bright until we are heard.”